a space for my thoughts

I don’t know if I’m necessarily going to turn this into a pregnancy blog, but I do feel compelled to blog at least a bit about my pregnancy and some of my choices.  Many people are questioning me and I wish to answer them all here and explain myself, even though none of them are likely to read this.

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I have decided to have a home birth.  That means I will not go to the hospital unless childbirth becomes an actual medical emergency.  I am not receiving prenatal care from an OB/GYN, but instead from a midwife.  My appointments are every two weeks, and they last about an hour.  We talk, she assigns me books or videos as learning tools, we talk about diet and anything else either of us can think of.

I have not had an ultrasound and I do not plan to have one.  The books and internet sites I have read have quotes from doctors saying something to the effect of “Although we have no reason to believe ultrasounds can harm the baby, it’s probably a good idea not to have one unless your doctor recommends it.”  The way I see it, women had babies successfully for thousands of years without getting a sneak peek, I bet we can still do it. 

The more I read or hear about other women’s birth experiences the more I feel comfortable that the choices I have made are the right ones.  Although friends of mine tell me I will want the drugs and I am a fool not to take them, I do not plan to have an epidural or Pitocin, for that matter.  Women say how painful their birth was (when they were forced to lay on their backs).  Women say how long they had to push (while they were pushing against gravity and in a position that narrows, instead of widens, the birth canal).  I hear of how episiotomies had to be cut (because Pitocin had been administered, speeding up the birth and not giving the body time to stretch out naturally).  And many women had to have a cesarean because the baby was breech (although capable midwives know that a baby is in breech well beforehand and know how to deal with it). 

Today I read the experience of a woman who was in labor for quite a while.  When she felt the urge to push her Dr. told her that the baby had not come down yet and that she could not push until the baby came down.  She had to lie on her back and wait hours more until this happened.  It is my understanding that that is not the proper way to handle things!  All the videos I have watched and my midwife agree that movement is very important during labor.  Your baby will need you to move around and change positions in order for him or her to successfully move through the birth canal.  Lying there on your back completely still will not help.  It’s no wonder doctors get impatient and try to push Pitocin on everyone to speed things up: they’re giving advice (or orders, even) to laboring mothers that is counter-intuitive and counter-productive to the birth process.

Pitocin is sometimes called Oxytocin, although Oxytocin is naturally produced by your body when it needs to be during labor.  Pitocin is a synthetic drug used to speed the process of labor.  When labor is sped up the body is not ready and does not respond well.  There is increased pain, so an epidural is administered.  The epidural makes the mother go numb from the waist down.  Yes, she does not feel the pain, but she does not feel the baby either.  She does not feel the contractions, the urge to push, or even if she is pushing.  If she can no longer push then forceps or a vacuum is used to pull the baby out.  That’s if the mother was lucky enough to not be forced into a cesarean. 

It seems to me that having a baby is a rite of passage.  It is a whole-body experience that ends in having a new family member, a new life.  Part of the process is the pregnancy, and part of the process is the birth.  If you are drugged and cannot feel the birth then aren’t you being cheated?  If you are told you need a cesarean to “Save the baby” and it seems like the only choice for you, so you let them cut your baby out, aren’t you being cheated?  If having a baby was not meant to include labor and delivery, then why don’t we hire people to have babies for us, so we don’t have to?

I am not out to attack anyone who needed medical interventions to be able to successfully deliver her baby, because there are times when those interventions are needed.  But in reality, it’s something like 3% of laboring women who need cesareans, not the 31% who actually receive them. 

I have not had a baby yet, so you may say that I don’t know what I’m talking about.  But I do feel like I’ve seen and read enough to know that planning a birth at home is safe and I will not be offered any medical intervention unless it is absolutely necessary. 

A few weeks ago I heard an interview on NPR with a photographer who compiled a book of photos and interviews with 50 famous chefs.  The interviews were about the chef’s “Last Meal”: What would it be, where would it be, who would be there and who would make the food.  They were accepting callers to answer the same questions, but I didn’t call because I think it’s rude to call knowing my signal goes in and out (I was driving home from work), so here it is.  My last meal:

I would like to eat an appetizer sampler of escargot in garlic butter, calamari with tons of lemon and tzatziki and shrimp cocktail with spicy cocktail sauce.  I would like a mixed field greens salad with goat cheese, walnuts, dried cranberries, thinly sliced red onions and a tangy raspberry vinaigrette. The main course I would like to consist of a baked salmon filet with lemon-dill-butter sauce, yellow saffron rice, blanched green beans, asparagus and an artichoke.  I think I also need a slice of lamb roast studded with garlic cooked in red wine and rosemary.  If I have room for desert I would like a slice of cheesecake the way Mark’s mom makes it with lemon and lime zest.  I may drink a glass of Pinot Noir with the meal and have a cup of coffee with desert.

 I would like Mark to keep me company during the meal, but not eat.  He can talk to me while I eat.  For dessert Andi could join us.  I would like to have the meal in an old farm or plantation house like the Lee Hall Mansion in Newport News or the Halfway House in Chesterfield, seated in front of a lit fireplace.  The room should otherwise be dimly lit.I would like restaurant chefs to prepare the meal, I don’t need to be anywhere near the kitchen.

Feel free to comment with your last meal request.

I would like to make two statements about Obama on this Day of Obama.

1. Is it just me or has anyone else noticed an increase on the number of grey hairs on his head over the course of this campaign?

2. There are headlines like “Now that Obama has Secured the Presidency Today his Sights are set on Building a Plan” or blah blah blah like he’s planning what to do in office today.
If I were him I would take a nap today! 
For four days!

My friends and I are in a debate right now.  They think I have the right to vote…
as long as it’s for their candidate. 
They think I can’t complain about the outcome of the election unless I agree to a two-party system and follow their rules.  They even blame people like me for losing votes that matter.

If you actually think it’s fair to ask me to change my mind to vote for your candidate because it makes logical sense to you then why shouldn’t you change your vote to suit what I want?
Saying that the people who voted for Ralph Nader caused Florida to choose Bush are fucking retarded. 

If only all the people who voted for Nader had voted for Kerry we wouldn’t have Bush in office!

WHAT ABOUT IF ALL THE PEOPLE WHO VOTED FOR BUSH VOTED FOR KERRY?  Wouldn’t that make more sense?

What about my decision makes you think I would be more likely to change my vote to your candidate than everyone else who is not voting for your candidate?  Are people who vote for third party candidates weaker of mind?  Are they less commited than those who conform to the Democratic vote or the Republican vote? 

Just like vegans and vegetarians I respect your decision to make different choices as long as you respect mine.  Granted, you feel it’s your duty to share your views with me (much like Christians’ obligation to spread the faith) but if I already have my mind made up how dare you try to change it, invalidate it, or tell me I’m being stupid.

I realize I have been absent from this outlet for a long time, but I got lazy, then busy, then married, then lazy again.  But I have just read something to inspire me to write just a tid-bit and draw the attention of my fellow critics to some stupidity.

I just read the transcript of an interview by CNN with Charles Barkley, http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/27/brown.barkley/index.html.  Apparenltly Charles Barkley is a retard.  Granted, I did not see or listen to the interview, but I can’t image it sounded much better than it read.

Charles Barkley was being asked questions about this upcoming election.  He thinks race will turn out to be a factor in the polls not matching people’s actual votes, which is a valid thought.  He supports Barak Obama but has also shown (if not support) respect for McCain in the past.  He said, though, that who the president is will not have a huge affect on Americans.  I repeat: it does not matter who is elected, it won’t affect you.  If he believes this why would he vote?  Why would he care?  And why should we care?  Even if it’s true, I don’t think it’s appropriate to share that with everyone.  That’s like announcing that “Santa Clause and The Toothfairy dont’ exist, it’s just your mom” during a Saturday morning catroon commercial break.

So after saying it doesn’t matter who is elected, Charles Barkley goes on to talk about how decisions that previous presidents have made have affected him and other American citizens and what decisions need to be made by the next president to positively affect American citizens.  Now, if he has been affected in the past and could be affected in the future by decisions a president makes then how could he say that who becomes president does not affect American citizens?  It doesn’t add up.

Near the end of the interview Charles Barkley states that he intends to run for Governor of Alamaba (although he lives in Arizona) in 2014.  If you plan to run for any political office shouldn’t you show respect and importance for the most important political office an American can hold?  Why would anyone take you seriously as a Governor if you’ve made it clear that the President doesn’t matter?  And when you make Governor and want to run for President a few years later are you going to tell Americans not to bother to vote for you because it won’t make a difference anyway?  Dummy.

Apparently you can’t be happy if you are single:

So I just read that they are going to produce a silver dollar with Braille on it for the first time.  On the heads side of the coin there is a picture of Braille, the man, and on the back there is a picture of a boy reading Braille with the Braille letters for Braille on it (actually BRL).  Am I the only one that thinks this is retarted?  That’s like making a sign that says “WORD.”  Why don’t they put the Braille for “ONE DOLLAR” on the coin?  Wouldn’t that make more sense?  They could even do it on the outside edge of the coin where we have lines on the quarter.

I was also just reminded of WTF.  Last week I read that the Maryland (I think) DMV is stopping distribution of license plates that begin WTF- because somebody’s grandkid told them what it means and they told the DMV.  Apparently nobody at the DMV knew what it meant.  People who have been distributed the plates can come in and get non-WTF license plates for free.

If you’re like me, you like to take chances with your food.
You know what I mean: eating the chicken that’s a little pink near the bone, cutting the moldy part off of the jalapeño and eating the rest, rinsing off fruit that has fallen into the sink when I can’t remember when the last time it was cleaned.  But after a recent bout of lectin poisoning, I’ve decided to research food safety.  It’s not the first time I’ve read some of these articles, mind you, but I looked them up again.  Below I have posted links for you.

Anisakis - Why it’s good to eat sashimi that was previously frozen!

Trichinosis - I like to eat undercooked pork (and wild game!) when presented with the chance.

Mold- I have been known to scrape the mold off of the sides of the sour cream tub and use the rest.  Is that wrong?

Thanks, Mark, for telling me not to eat the moldy strawberries!
I have never actually gotten sick off of anything I have prepared until recently, and it was something I didn’t even know you could get sick from (see lectin poisoning)!  Good thing is, I survived.

Every day I read the news and just about every day it pisses me off.  Or makes me laugh.

When I read the articles I can’t help but feel as though they are trying to instill certain feelings in me or get a particular reaction out of me.  And I think the timing of the articles is very intentional.  I like to think that, for the most part, I am resistant to being affected the way they want me to be.

Today I read about all this crap going on in Basra- militants murdering people - and then it goes on to talk about how things the US Army have done have helped the situation.  I can’t help but see this article as bullshit.  I think the article was written and released to try to make Americans think we’re doing some good over there.  I think the Republicans want us to believe that we are helping them (the Iraqis).  I don’t know if we’re helping them or not, but since they took the time to do this story it makes me think they’re trying to prove themselves.  Normally you only try to prove you’re doing something good when you’re doing something bad.

I also see all these stories about all the people dying all over the world because of natural disasters and drought and not enough food.  Well guess what, that’s how the world works! There isn’t enough food for everyone, period.  There isn’t enough land for everyone, period.  People have to die.

 Every day there are new articles about how crappy we’re doing.  Gas prices are through the roof. Lettuce costs $1.89. Some woman in California is living in her car because she bought a house she can’t afford, lost her job and couldn’t make payments.  Everyone is trying to live beyond their means and they’re making stupid choices on important things (like home loans) and now they want everyone to pity them for being forced to live in their cars.  I think they want all of us to fear that it could happen to us too.  You too could lose your job! You too could have your house foreclosed on! You too could have to stop eating out and figure out how to cook a meal at home! Chisos christ, people, didn’t you see it was getting bad before it got that bad?  Why didn’t you start making adjustments to your lifestyle so you could make your house payment instead of buying a new computer? I don’t get it.

Back to the topic: I also notice how every day or two an encouraging, hopeful story will pop up in the news.  Just when you were sure you had nothing to live for and were about to slit your wrists there it is: wait! Someone with no legs climbed a mountain! Geo Metros get 40+ mpg! You could lose all that extra flab like Lynda did if you stopped drinking sodas and started walking to work! Whew, that’s a relief.

There is a scandal of sorts that is going on right now that’s being covered in the media which I have some inside information on.  Apparently they are putting out any headline they can think of (which normally turns out to be a rumor one person said) and never using the corrected statements as headlines.  They are presenting only one side of the story and not even bothering to mention what the whole point is!  They are using any fantastic possibility they can come up with to make it obvious who’s in the wrong.  The injustices that are going on are being widely ignored by the media, and, as far as I can tell, by the general public.  I think it’s fair to call this a media circus. Is nobody else asking themselves what’s going on? 
**If you want to know what I am talking about look at the other posts in this category.

I know I’m babbling and I know I didn’t explain myself properly.  But I do feel like the news we get is created for us and presented to us very purposefully to keep us brainwashed into thinking we need them and we should all stick together and not think for ourselves.  I know they’ve written fictional books about it but I think it’s real life.